stargirll
why do i treat my body like a freezer?
i know I can't keep these thoughts fresh for long
inhale
exhale
I confuse the two as antonyms
yet they do not mean the same
one with out the other, silence
I often forget what I am saying
and begin with lost words from yesterday
my brain, a wishing well
kept full from
tossing coins at myself hoping
to remember what was just at the tip of my tongue
there are times when i am penniless i fish
coins out from myself and wish upon them
for something else, never to know which will come true
careful i might just get what i wish for
roasting my heart
spinning and drooling
like a dog in heat
I pluck the chords
of your voice with a snarl
i am a fierce hawk
born from the sea and raised in the twists and turns of the puget sound
lately though
i have lost too many feathers
have you ever lost a piece of yourself?
each one a memory, a lesson learned
i replaced my confidence with doubt again
censoring every word i speak
but today i vow to my self
my one and only
that i am in control again
maker of destiny
and forever free
held on for so long
myfiingers start to melt
the tips are words I am speaking
but they will never be real
I will
never touch a single
so alluring
your striking eyes
blue as the heavens
opening for the first
time in weeks
the clouds part ways and
a stream of sun pours
onto the concrete
then reflects back up into
topaz keys
I can tell what you're thinking
not speaking my name
I can feel your gems of soul
on my empty shoulder blades
as I slip into the next room
we should always be closer
the fight to stop smiling when one is yelling
at me or scolding me or even telling me, seriously, how they feel
is one I am slowly losing
I just have to laugh
I am rude
i must be shades of red
rich in heart and soul
and diamonds,
hidden caskets
carved in your eyes
crash wide open
and they knock faithfully on your cellar door
asking for receipts, a number to prove you are real
just let them check the dirt under your nails,
harbored soul
are you the one who dug that jewel?
you kneel whisper
pray to be predator to feed on
gold silver
but muddy tears laid bodies to rest
long before you walked this dirt
and you will never be worth more
than soil
i still find myself picking pieces of you from my guts -
that day when your shrapnel stuck into the back of my mind
the war of you and i
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