sunflowerrloverr
“I never will succeed” she conceded with a sigh. And ever so quietly lay down her head to die. But then there was a snap and a heaving grunt as the speeding car shot over the hill. Silly cunt!
My heart pounds rhythmically in my chest, deep substantiating thuds shoot oxygenated blood through my eager veins and feed my protesting muscles. Everything burns. My calves and thighs burn, my eyes burn, and even the salty sweat infiltrating my eyes burns. My chest aches dissentedly, muscles reproachfully scream for me to stop. But I will not relent. I am too competitively driven. I will reach my goals. I am unstoppable.
Rise above what holds you down. Never let ‘em say you’ll fail. Breathe in starlight and exhale sunshine. Everything’s gonna be just fine.
The pulsating tingles reverberated through my arms leaving an alert, if semi-discombobulated, feeling. The warm, musical intonations filled my ears and my steady breathes carried them into my stomach. Leaving a satisfied and full sensation. I waited nine years for this honor. I was finally Emporer Hsuan Wu’s royal gongsman.
You should be proud of yourself. You’ve managed to push away those who meant the most to you in your past, and you’re intently pushing away those close to you now. Take a bow. You’re a successful failure.
A simple answer-neat, tidy and confidant. An explanation to the “ifs” “buts” and “whats” clotting my consciousness. I want the sitcom ending. I want what Hollywood promised me. I crave the superficially satisfying story where in the last 5 minutes, everything is tied up in a neat tidy bow-and I can be confidant in myself once again.
Feelings of isolation in a room full of friends.
Pondering outcomes, pondering ends.
Fear of feeling too much, scared I’m showing too little.
Insecurities and unsurities playing my heart like a fiddle.
Anticipating the curtain call, my final bow should tell it all.
Have you heard of Sally Sue?
Her hair is blue (here nose is too)
Her eyes are crossed, her tongue is lost.
She can't be bossed at any cost!
her eyes are leaky her back is creaky.
So HAVE you heard of Sally Sue?
Come to think of it.... She's just like YOU!!!
27 lashes. That’s what they told me. The first 7 were brutal, the switch was poorly made and the tiny knots lining left deepened bruises on my flesh and the unclean edges peeled thin slices of flesh from my backside. By 14 I was numb. I could hear the whipping, but no longer cared enough to cry out. By 24 I challenged them to keep whipping me, beat me til I die! I told them. By 27 I was dead. Unfortunately it was just the inside that withered up and disappeared.
writing since 2008 · 18 entries · 15 days shown up
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