venusaretha
I look at the zeros and chuckled.
aren't they just like us.
fluctuate, inflate, gone.
aren't they just like us.
unstable, influenced,
unbalanced to keep the balance.
aren't they just like us.
the zeros stare back at me.
I blink.
fully knowing they will change again.
we all imagine
to spin it around in one confident move
and throw darts on it
and go wherever it lands
when it lands on the sea, which is the most likely,
it's time to taste the water,
go swimming, go somewhere to get wet, dipped, and hugged.
your body go lighter, you are in entirely different dimension, we all sound the same underwater, we all breathe limitedly, we all face the same risk of being drowned.
but when it did land somewhere, if you could afford it, go for it.
if you could afford it but prefer somewhere else, book the damn ticket. if you could not afford it nor too scared to do it, pack some jacket and tanks, put on comfortable shoes and go anyway.
because the moment you throw the dart,
you know you are in desperate need to be somewhere else. other than here.
go.
eyes meet.
quick scanning.
mascara. check. a bit lumpy though. probably less than 5 dollar ones.
uneven eyeliner. she must be in rush.
hair. just brushed straight to the back. sleek. boring type.
wait, rack?
surprisingly nice. no cleavage though, that blazer.. keeping it professional I see.
check.
He let out a tiny smile. half smirking.
"sit down please."
She bites her lips nervously. handing out her portfolio. waiting for him to start judging.
she didn't know the result is already out a minute ago.
flooded by love.
damn, it's fuckin cheezy with huge Z but, that's what i'm feeling right now.
such amazing amount of love that fulfill me from head to toe, especially in the heart.
it feels like i can't breathe.
but, duh.
who needs oxygen anymore?
...seriously this is overly cheesy.
ah finally, you're here
i've been looking for you.
i miss you. a lot.
i miss drinking hot pumpkin spice latte while enjoying you and your warm smile, even though it's kinda cold here.
you're not that hot and make me afraid even just to approach you, and also you're not as cold as winter, i know that's to make it easier for me to hug you.
come here, dear. closer.
you need to know how much i'm missing you.
you make me cracked inside
those noises in my head
in my heart
about life, about love, about choices, about fights,
yell, anger, tears
i can live with them, i can't live without them
i'm tired of war but somehow i love these riots.
your riots.
our.
riots.
I hate it.
Small, black, and many.
There's so many of them, creeping, bitting sometimes.
Even if there's only one of them, that itchy feeling felt so real, dangerous, like it can fill up the holed on your body. Or even if it's not. It feels like it can be absorbed to your skin, destroy you in the inside.
I just, hate it.
you know what?
it's all i want about you. near.
yes, please. screw the distance.
be here.
now.
i already wrote about this before. sigh.
writing since 2011 · 10 entries · 9 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means venus showed up.
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the words venus reaches for
lovesomewherequeeneyesdamnalreadyriotsaffordbowwaitingpleasenowhatefeelingbodyinside