wewalkon
the ratings we get based off our looks and what we say just aren't fair because half the time we don't mean what we say and the outfit turned out terrible anyways and no one is even reading this because I've been rated a terrible horrible F on my English report card. Because a stupid girl can't write beautiful things, and a beautiful girl can't be stupid.
the colors i want for my prom dress. but i won't have. because pastel makes my skin look bluer than it already is. I have to go with dark orange or green a strong autumn color without that washed out look i so deeply love. it's alright. i love the olive green look anyways. but i can't be a disney princess without pastels.
over and over and over the train clack clack clacks and all I want to be is home. home asleep in my bed instead of on this train again for the fifth time in five weeks. constantly moving. constantly going. one day ill settle down and this pattern of instability will become a pattern of domesticity but for now i travel on. keep moving. keep going.
the longest time I've ever spent at the airport was over night. It was dark and dim because at night they turn the lights down. and it was awful quiet except for when babies realized they weren't at home and began to cry loudly. and then they'd fall asleep again and I would too and soon enough it was over and the plane was ready and we were gone again.
If I could I would speak up in the middle of class. I would petition to my classmates to just once think about me, think about others and actually care. To understand that this isn't about a grade anymore it's about finding who we are and making something fro the world. We only have so long here in school we need to make the most of it, to find something worthwhile and use it to change ourselves and the world. we have so much to give we just have to know what it is and do it.
writing since 2012 · 5 entries · 5 days shown up
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the words caroline reaches for
homenightdarkasleeptrainclackconstantlymovingpatterngreenloveanywaysterriblestupidgirlbeautiful