amieeb

amieeb

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Immediately I separate this into two words: A dark room Late at night, window shielded from street lights And there's nothing bright that can creep into this Space that is both full and empty

It seems endless this time spent this looping reality where nothing really changes despite the back and forth it's always the same thing the feeling of hopelessness always returns in between the brief periods of feeling wonderful.

whim

It wasn't a whim that took me across the country. It was a deep-seated feeling that had been denied but still grew. A long time coming and I finally took the chance. I took a chance on you.

Of paint spilled across the floor Jackson Pollock style Are they beautiful or is it a happy accident or merely a coincidence There is a distinct lack of direction my like that of my life I don't know where it's going or what the meaning is behind this patternless pigment

Someone noticed that I'm Not okay She called me out And I admitted the Truth but the next Steps might be the hardest To take

You've tarnished my feelings for you Clouded them with your inconsiderate inconsistencies My logic kicked and and told my heart you're not good Despite everything I've felt and we've been through you've Managed to create this desperate situation where we will always lose.

lucky

Do I consider myself lucky to know you to have met you and after all these years fallen in love with you? Is it luck or irony that has created this dynamic? It's been said that I should feel grateful that I at least have angst and yearning while others' hearts remain desolate.

Nothing is obvious since you Can't seem to make up your mind Or stick to a decision despite How obvious I have been about My feelings for you so I suppose it's more than Obvious that you were never Ready for anything and it Won't be clear till I'm obviously Gone

alter

If I could alter the Past I think that I would Change something to recreate Our future despite knowing What a dangerous game that Is only so desperately wish that Our lives were more intertwined- At the very least I would Create a life in which You were not always on My mind

Paperclips are a part of my daily life So much so that you can find them all around my Living room, blending into the carpet I fill my pockets with multiple sizes and feel Distraught when I forget since They come in so handy for Organization

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writing since 2010 · 208 entries · 150 days shown up

each square is a day — lit means you showed up.

20longest streak

150days written

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on this day 16 years ago

you wrote about vase
“Vase. For flowers. Vast space. Distance in between people. Family. Lovers. Base. Foundation. Strong beginning. A start.”

the words you reach for

lovemindpastnowwordcrossfeelingnightschoolheadwishthoughtsdistancelivenearcreated