greengabberglob
funny how in such a short time line, a lot seemed to have happened. it scares the hell out of me sometimes when i think that time has just shortly elapsed and i seem to have forgotten some important things.
When two destined people meet and sparks fly, romance ensues. When evil meets vulnerability and bad luck, havoc ensues. Something ensues out of something
FLOUR. when mixed with sugar, shortening, and other flavors, it could make you real fat. I hate being fat! and while flour is really a bit distant, I just can't help but associate this with my current dissatisfaction of what my body has become. oh boy!
an enclosed place where more often than not one feels imprisoned, suffocated, and in deep peril. while it has recently become a sight of awe and wonder to many, to some it still remains a symbol of unknown danger.
if there are words that can describe my current state, weathered is definitely one of those. the me now is an shabby piece of nothingness. emptiness, doubt, weary, despair, they most of the time fill me. temporary sources of happiness may arise but the heavy feeling of uncertainty coupled with the other words i associate myself with now dominate these merry moments. :(
old and obsolete, but reminiscent of a historical time. brings about an insurmountable feeling of nostalgia, without a seemingly identifiable source. i wasn't born in those eras but it just feels like i've been there.
to many they are petulant creatures lurking in different corners in malls and trade centers. I too feel this way most of the time. But I am also often drowned in guilt for feeling so. They are only doing their jobs, they are earning for a living, just as we do ours. :(
much of my self-perception is based on size. maybe the reason why I haven't still achieved full self-confidence is my body size. many say that I've already achieved the right proportion. That I'm not fat nor chubby, but I still beg to disagree. Problem is my perception of size has already been distorted. Thanks to the media or wait, no. Thanks to how I let the media influence me.
somewhere deep inside me, an alter ego resides. a woman who wants to be placed where she rightly belongs, with a man whom she deserves, the life she is destined to live without any reserves. a woman who wishes to be placed on a pedestal, loved and adored by her man and people who matters to her the most.
AMOUNT. I can only think of quantity. If you were to be asked, which would you choose quantity of quality?
Can't we just possibly have both?
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writing since 2012 · 38 entries · 38 days shown up
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feelingnowlovewordafraiddrivenlivingalivewishheartfunnyhappydestinedburydonealready