mickiec03

mickiec03

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tales

Oh the tales i could tell you! The one that could move your soul. Tales filled with tragedy, misery and woe. Ones dazzling, spectacular, deceitful to the minds eye. But listen up, none of those are the tale of I.

Be my guide, show me the way. I need to find the place where I belong. I just want to be in someones arms who can hold me tight and protect me from myself.

Remember when things were simple? Back in the good ole days when homework was coloring, and gym class was playing tag. I do. I miss it so much, being young and free. People usually reminisce about their high school days when they get old. But i know ill miss my childhood the most. I already do.

I don't want to write about any specific word. I'm sick of following the rules, and trying to live up to other peoples expectations. Just sick to death. Death. Death has brought me great sadness lately, I just wish it didn't have to be this way.

half

if I could forget half of what I've lived through these past few months it'd still be enough to give me nightmares.

texts

Exchanging texts isn't a replacement for real human contact. Talking on the phone isn't much better. Today people don't realize how socially deprived they are because of all of the new "social media". I for one am sick of it. If I talk to you through technology, then I better damn well see you in person. Otherwise, we're not really friends are we?

Bandages cant fix a broken leg, they cant fix a muscle tear, they cant fix your mind, and they cant fix your heart. The only thing that can is time, and proper treatment, and i haven't been treating my self very well lately. Maybe ill never heal? maybe i don't want to.

There are always people who will excel without trying? Always people on top who never see how lucky they are. People who found their calling young and succeed time and time again. I wish I could find mine. Ok so I'm smart. But not nearly as smart as I wish I could be. Ok I'm good at drawing, but my art looks like a 5 year olds compared to so many. Ok I can dance, but my moves look awkward compared to dancers. Ok I am a good cheerleader, but I'm not good enough for it to ever take me anywhere. I'm pretty, but my looks will never be enough to dazzle someone. I'm good at some things.. but I will never be great. I wish I had a calling.

Have you ever wished you could undo something in life? To click delete, backspace, control z? I do.. I wish I could stop myself from making stupid mistakes and to stop myself from hurting people, because I seem to do that a lot.

Just disregard my tears, because I am fine. Disregard my cries, they are unimportant. Disregard my feelings because you have none to consider. But do not disregard my strength, because It is never ending. you better never forget that.

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writing since 2011 · 70 entries · 70 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Mellanie showed up.

9longest streak

70days written

0.9entries / week

on this day 15 years ago

Mellanie wrote about offer
“"My life." "No that's not what I want." "My money?" "No that's not enough to make me happy." "My time? Energy? What is it you want? I have nothing else to offer! What is it you could possibly wa…”

the words Mellanie reaches for

eyesbetterwishnowschoolfacehelplovesattearsheartwritewordsickpatternroom