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Starlight, starbirght, where is the words I need to write. My muse is asleep and the night is dark. Starlight, starbirght give me my words to write.

Some measure wealth by the number of things you have. Others measure by dollar signs. I measure it by the loved ones around me and the memories we make together. That is wealth.

It was the most eligible bachelor in town, or so they said. Setting my sights on him was no brainer. After all, I was out to find the biggest fish in the pond, and he was as big as they come.

globe

I closed my eyes and placed my finger on the spinning globe. It stopped and I open my eyes, excitement running through me. Paris stared back and visions of my next adventure scored through my mind.

soar

I stood at the end of the open field and watched the glider soar across the sky. I picked my cuticles as he made circles and flew as easy as the birds behind him. This was his one chance to fulfill his bucket list, who was I to add reason.

frown

The excitement of the moment drained away as I watched his brow furrow in a frown, pick up his phone and began thumbing through his email. He nodded at what he thought appropriate times, never noticing I stopped talking. It was the woman the booth next to us.

They are supposed to have a special place in their hearts for the little ones and a special understanding for young mothers. I screamed into the phone "my baby just had a seizure. She's breathing now, but doesn't seem to know me or her sister." My daughter's pediatrician replied."Stop being hysterical, she was just holding her breath." "I'm a nurse, I said. "I know the difference between a seizure and a child holding her breath you condescending prick.

Growing up I promised myself I would not repeat history. I would live a different life than what I knew. I fought my way up and out, determined. I deserved better. Funny how history tends to repeat itself, whether we want it or not.

Shit. I can't see a damn thing. Everything is blurry, just like my life. I don't have a clue where to go from here. The whole world looks blurry and out of focus. Shit.

Ten years and I feel like a prisoner in my own home. How did that happen? When did he turn from the white knight in shining armor to my warden?

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writing since 2011 · 209 entries · 206 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Sheila showed up.

11longest streak

206days written

0.6entries / week

on this day 15 years ago

Sheila wrote about thread
“ragged, frayed, you pull it and everything unravels; where i feel today at the end of the tether”

the words Sheila reaches for

nowwordseyeshandfaceroomlovebeautifulstoodhouseagainstbetterhomedoorfavoriteheard