unbornsymphony

unbornsymphony

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sweep

if only I could sweep away the contempt you have for me like the trash that it is brush away the lies you imagine of me like painting over an accident which was out of my control if only I could live in a vacuum sterilized from the words you taint my actions with if only I could wash away the urge to prove myself to you if only to prove you wrong when it doesn't matter you wouldn't care anyway and you don't deserve it you don't deserve me and even an ounce of the best of me would be wasted on you if only I could just let go free myself from the weight of you cut the umbilical cord and the poison you've forced upon me open my eyes and dare to take the stumbling first steps to walk away I could live

the sound washes over me in a blanket of emotion enveloping me in the feeling floating in a dream I walk within a mythic story that stretches out across time it scatters me through space enter I, into you all so vivid in my mind nothing compares to this

brave

find the bravery inside you dare to pull it out it will give you the strength to face the hefty weight of change and when you will have come out at the end you will hear the music of clarity

open eyes will open doors one must only dare to step through onto the path of discovery

I deserve to live my life. and there's no reason I should have to subservient myself to do so.

don't you know that sometimes we are allowed to be selfish? sometimes its what we need most. to shut the world out, focus on our needs, wants, purpose, interests, strengths, weaknesses, all that we don't know about ourselves or that we forget to pay attention to. sometimes theres too much out there and so much inside, you must choose. choosing whats outside before what is in you is proceeding blindly. don't you know that sometimes we need the judgment of others? it is help, whether essentially right or wrong. sorting this out for ourselves is a process on the way to clarity. don't you know that we will make it through this? we just cant give up.

Why aren't we allowed to talk to each other? Particularly and especially when it comes to those we most care for? We build up walls and hide behind them and persecute anyone who climbs over or breaks them down. But shouldn't those closest to us be allowed in? Shouldn't they feel welcome and unafraid? Able to approach without caution, without raising alarm? Shouldn't we preview them to our innermost secrets without them having to fear exile for their intimate knowledge?

blood red and black lace with a voice like a noose a mind like a whip she welded herself just as dangerously just as provocatively my senses scattered before her locking me into a deadly game an oh, so irresistible diversion she teased and eluded my endeavors like the smoke which seeped from her long cigarette to me she will always be The Woman Irene Adler

She suddenly lay over and rested her head in my lap. My breath hitched as she blew smoke rings that twisted and curled up into the night just as my core did in response. Just as smoothly she raised back into a seated position beside me. The capricious elven creature.

slowly, recognition flooded in like the water in which he was submerged pushed under struggling against the onslaught as all the pieces fell into place one flash of light after another as the life he thought he knew ebbed away becoming a blur now he understood all to clear, he ceased to struggle allowing her to hold him down one by one all of her began to dissipate to disappear each version fading from existence he let the quiet darkness envelope him as he watched the last of her waver the final variations knowing they each were being erased ending all the destruction they had sown "there's always a lighthouse"

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writing since 2011 · 143 entries · 116 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means unbornsymphony showed up.

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116days written

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on this day 15 years ago

unbornsymphony wrote about secretary
“im going to pretend i dont know what this word means and make my own word because the only thing i think of is wild and/or dirty love affairs on desks in darkened offices - SO- you are so secretary, …”

the words unbornsymphony reaches for

nowsimplysometimesourselvesdonteyeslovemusicwonderivesupposethatsmindmatterotherslive