alyfiebs
I built these walls so I can see who is willing to knock them down. These walls protect me from any one not willing to see the real me. Over time these walls grow higher. I sit on top of this wall as it grows, a princess waiting for her prince. Maybe when I look down, he'll be climbing and he'll climb these walls until he finally reaches me. By then I'll tear my walls down. But until then, these walls grow higher and higher.
I woke up to the rumbling of the train on railroad tracks. Still haven't arrived to my destination. Even though I didn't know exactly where, the ticket had mysteriously come in the mail with a note that said, "Trust your instincts."
Just like he said today, "I don't want to go through the motion..." I want to give my life to you, oh Lord. Help me see what you have planned for me in this life and that I can help people love you the way that I love you. Show me the path of righteousness, for I will follow you in motion and not go though the same motions but willingly give my life to you. AMEN
Saturday was supposed to be a good day, but in comparison to friday, saturday was nothing. Being there with him, smelling the sent of freshly made hot dogs and peanuts. Baseball games can be boring, but when she was with him, they were the best things on the planet. Watching their team win wasn't even the best part. When the game was over they got up out of their seats and were escorted onto the field to watch the fire works. She felt them pop and explode inside her chest. What made the so much better then she could have ever imagined was that he was with her; and nothing else seemed to matter.
My job was simple. They called me "The Distributer." It was one of the down sides of being the managers assistant. Getting coffee orders or food orders or anything of that nature. But I knew before I became a big producer, I had to keep distributing the coffee. One baby step before my glorious moments of greatness.
We were standing in the super market in the soup isle. I could feel his eyes on me watching my every move. Then he came up behind me and put his arms around me, and for a moment I forgot why I was even there. I heard a cough behind us and I pushed him away, "TOMATO!" I said, trying to clear my head and trying to break the tension between us.
I saw their break up over the internet, their two year relationship ended in shambles. It planted the seeds of doubt into my brain. What did that mean for our new relationship? Did they all eventually come to an end? Or maybe we're different. Maybe we can make it to the end.
All it takes is a minute. A minute can change your whole life. One minute you're happy and then next, you can be feeling complete and utter heart break. One minute he can be making you the happiest girl in the world, and the next he could be breaking your heart. One minute can change your life. One minute can destroy your hopes and dreams. One minute is powerful. What will you do in one minute? Will you hold your breath, take the plunge? Or will you spend it in the safety of your bedroom, scared of the risks you couldn't possibly take because of the minutes before? Don't let those old minutes get in the way. Make new minutes. Make new memories. Live in the minutes that take your breath away.
I found that I was overwhelmed when I was in his presence. His soft green eyes glistened in the moon light and I felt that I was falling into the pits of desire. "Do you trust me?" he asked. "More then anything." I said taking his hand as we took the plunge into something that would change my life forever.
I looked back and noticed the chipped frame work. Had it really been so long ago? I traced over the paint with my fingers as the tears began to flow down my cheeks like silent streams. How was it possible to hurt as much as it did?
writing since 2012 · 10 entries · 10 days shown up
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minutewallsminuteschangebreakhighereyestrustplungeheartbreathrelationshipwatchingbehindtryingcoffee