cglitter
I was driven by desire. I couldn't stop it, didn't want to stop it, shouldn't stop it. The man in my life treats me as if i'm a passing shadow on the wall. So why shouldn't I broaden my horizons? I should do this for me. Check out the pool of clear water my face reflects off of right outside my apartment door. Even if it is his best friend..
Blue ink scribbles its way across the page, coming merely from a wand. The thoughts being carelessly abstracted from line to line are protruding from an inactive brain, lacking drive and motivation. It's going to be a long night.
The science of the game. The fundamentals. Dribble, pass, shoot. The geometric figures and positions. The actual analytical aspect. It draws me in. A day without it and it's all i can think about. It's been a part of my life forever. To hear the ball fall through the bottom of the net is freeing, and to live without the benefits of it's physical demands is unbearable. It'll always be my first love.
Spineless. That's what you are. Low and cold. The sight of your figure sends curled pictures to my mind; you're hunched over, picking up the last piece of scrap that was left on the ground of the picnic by the lake. After all, it's what you deserve. And what I deserve is nothing of importance to you. You've made it clear that my necessities, my desires and wants, they are nothing but pointless words on a page. Thoughts floating in the night air with no owner to claim them and turn them to reality. But it's what you've done to yourself. You've created your own monster. And when I see you, that is all i'll forever see.
It feels like a century since i've last seen his face. His lips defined and bold, his eyes a dark pool of wonder. It's been too long. In dreams the image is only passing, not enough to sustain the thirst inside my soul. In good time, I tell myself. In good time we will be brought back together. The songs I used to sing will finally light a smile across my face. My old, boring routine will satisfy me, leave me fulfilled at the end of the day. Until then, a dream is worth a lifetime.
I heard the gong from the clock in the tour. Half past six, it was time. I knew if I waited any longer I'd miss him, and second chances don't come very often. I checked my phone, and I took a step towards the cathedral. With my hand on the handle, trembling, barely holding steady, I cracked the door that would open up the fate of my future.
I jumped on the train. The ticket read: one way. nyc. There's no going back, not just yet. The city will take me in, a new home for the time being. To clear my head.
writing since 2010 · 7 entries · 7 days shown up
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clearfacestopdoorpoolpassingdeservepagethoughtsnightforeverlinejumpedtrainticketread