fredda

fredda

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I feel delighted about our late summer. Finally sun is giving us back some of its energy and finally it is warm enough to spend an evening on the balcony, watching the stars in a clear sky und listen to the snails feeding on the tomato plants.

Food. Chocolate, sweets, burger, pizza. Keep the balance. Smoking, Drinking. Unhealthy is not always unhappy, at least not in the short term.

It's an illusion to think that things will stays this way for the rest of my life. I could be in Canada next year, teaching skiing. Or in Iceland, working on a pony farm. I could still be on my own or I could be with you, but it's an illusion to think it will stay that way.

win

Oh, what a win it woul be to lie next to you. Wouldn't it? I actually can't think of a life next to you. I have pretty much everything to be happy and jolly and just be myself and enjoying my life. Still I am just waiting and changing myself to be with you even if I have no idea who you are.

Shrib shrap, from left to right and back. Up and down and around. Shrip shrap. In the morning, in the evening. Same procedure twice day. Does anyone know you better?

piano

"Ich sitz schon wieder, barfuß am Klavier". The tone ist beautiful and I am listening to the sound. I'm trying to find the perfect point to raise my voice and give the sound a song. Too late. Again. I'm smiling in apology to me teacher, she shakes her head and starts to play again. When that specific point arrives, she nods and I start singing.

That's what you call a "Fels in der Brandung" in German. To me, the humanification of the adjective "steadfast" is Dumbledore which is funny, because he isn't even a real human.

sill

I can see it somewhere near. Nearer than the horizon. It's coming and I know I have to take the step. I could ran away from it, but I know it will come eventually. I have to take the step over the sill.

Bourbon. What ist bourbon? The liquid stirrs in the bold glas. It looks golden and brownish. The smell is nice, a bit wooden maybe. The taste is strong at first, then softens into the wooden kind you already smelled.

I suppose that is what America is about right now. A big, damn cold freezer with millions of people in it and some of them freezing to dead while others celebrate their unexpected holiday in a warm home.

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writing since 2008 · 91 entries · 91 days shown up

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on this day 14 years ago

Fredda wrote about porter
“He didn't look up when i approached the gate, his eyes were still fixed on the screen in front of him and i imagined, that he was watching one of those reality shows. One of those, which everyone tel…”

the words Fredda reaches for

eyeswordfinallyguidehearthandshandguessexactlypinggodhopebehindhomehappyface