kaleidoscope
a broken-hearted carpenter. a lost child. an enigmatic dreamer. they'd grabbed on and she'd fought to keep them from crashing off the ledge. they were her savings. pieces of heartache, abandoned dreams, buried memories. at the end of day, she was a pauper.
i am mighty fin
you are mighty fine.
he is mighty fine.
we are mighty fine.
you are mighty fine.
they are mighty fine.
we've become entwined in the lies of in these meaningless lines.
they had so much spark
jolting overstretched bodies, it built up
as plastic souls trampled
piles of dreams
and she was grounded
the conductor of their emancipation
she'd forgotten what it meant to connect
without pain.
i'm sorry
that,
after so many hours of study,
you still drifted away,
a failing grade.
and maybe i'm nothing more than a badly written textbook
compunctions, predilections, conflicting emotions,
strewn over jumbled pages
but for that
i am not sorry.
it had been a love hate affair.
she loved the way he had softened over time, moulded himself to her curves. the way his rough edges now gently held her together on days when her insides threatened drown out the world. how he knew and touched parts no one else ever had. and how he now fit only her.
she hated that her growth slowly tore him apart. and how her desperate attempts to close the gaps left only tangled threads. she too often left his heart in knots.
so she resigned herself. a patch here. a patch there. oh how she tried to make them match. but the incongruous pieces tore and pulled him into pieces.
these days, she could barely find him.
i am slowly learning
that conviction is not always a bold sergeant, purposefully marching forward, methodically taking down whatever is in his path.
sometimes it the surprising humming rising out of the rubble, the gentle lifting of weight on shoulders, and Your still, small voice, whispering, "well done".
"but i've been so flexible" you said.
and i couldn't deny it.
you'd wound yourself around me, closely following my every whim, continuously changed shapes in an attempt to seep into the crevices of my being.
yes. you had been flexible.
perhaps the cage you'd put me in me was less conventional than a standard metallic one, but it was a prison nonetheless.
like a snake, you'd encased me in your grip and i could no longer breathe.
furious.
to admit that you make me so
would be to admit
you have my heart in your hands.
you'd always complimented my math notes
and my clear, unbroken lines
always earned your praise.
so it shouldn't have surprised either of us
when i brought sharpened graphite to paper
and firmly etched a clear radius around my heart.
i was only trying to protect myself
after all, we'd marvelled together
at the unyielding nature of a perfect sphere.
but as you stand on the outside
calloused hands smudged in unrelenting poison
i can no longer speak in geometry.
it was never my goal to hurt you.
the deep baseline
snakes through my core
as your words of ecstasy
fill me giddy shakes.
your mouth words at me
almost
lovingly.
i can't hear a thing
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