Kimi
I could weld my lips together but I cant keep the sound of my heartbeat from giving me away, I fear even my thoughts have a way of reaching you
It hurts so much to even think about you. I used to think you were a godsend but instead you were the snake. I can see things so much clearer now and I hate myself for overlooking your fangs. now I'm tied to a tree and the fire fueling my hatred lights me up in the darkness.
your'e supposed to be mine. you were supposed to only be with me but i'm losing you and its driving me crazy. i hate it
i hate it. stop leaving me alone all the time i cant handle the smell of abandonment that washes up every time you leave. stop leaving me with myself.
with my little hands i peeled myself off the ground.my clothes are all wet. my hair is sticky. my lip is bleeding. did i lose a tooth or was my nose bleeding? i cant breathe. my hands are trembling but i cant scream. nothing comes out. im crying i know im crying. i cant stand up. my legs are shaking. im trying to grab onto something but i just cant lift myself up. oh god please. please just leave me alone. you grabbed another beer so im safe for now. im limping. god please let me get to my room safely. my hair is stuck to my face but i dont have the strength to push it aside. i just want to go to bed.
i was 8 years old
its really sad how forgotten ive become over such a short period of time. im not even your shadow anymore. the sun refuses to acknowledge my existence. i have no reflection in the water. ive become a ghost of who i used to be.
i had bags under my eyes because i couldnt dream of a better future but you... you could charm anyone into doing anything and for that i envied you.
you broke me. you stretched me too far apart and now i'm on the floor... i'm scattered and i cant put myself back together. you broke me and you don't even care. you have your money so what does it matter. you can get as many as you want. to you i'm like all the other ones. replaceable.
theres this aura around you whenever you walk into a room. its crazy to say that youre actually really shy but you have this way with people that make them feel happy and cheerful. youre bubbly and nice and they cant see anything wrong with you. thats the problem though. youre so sad. your eyes scream from the agony. no one can notice it because you always smile. always. no matter what. i can see the hint of darkness that surrounds you and you try to hide it so desperately. its so very sad to continue living this way.
writing since 2015 · 8 entries · 8 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means KABY showed up.
1longest streak
8days written
0entries / week
the words KABY reaches for
cantnowyouresadpleasehateroomcrazyeyesscreammatterdarknessbrokeivehandshair