Kristian Pierce
Stability was his whole life. She was the only one that could make him throw it away without a second thought.
She looked at him and said "don't take it tomorrow."
It is jarring to be told just how harmful you are to someone. Especially someone that you would never want to harm. Realizing that the more you fall in love with them the more you harm them, and then all at once realizing that the fire inside you that burned for them had actually been literally burning them and the only thing they want is for you stop hurting them.
Even more jarring is realizing that the fire you thought they had burning for you in return was actually a candle, and all the warmth you felt around them was actually coming from you instead of from them.
If you truly care for them what should you do? Let the fire continue to grow, or drown the fire in the tears you shed letting them go?
I wish she could understand how much of me she has consumed without realizing it, and at least appreciate at the end that it was my warmth that kept us comfortable in our relationship and not hers. I just never meant to hurt her so much. My body only feels cold now, as I desperately try to stamp out a fire that has raged for so long.
"This is espresso. This is like coffeezilla." he said to the three year old asking for cup of coffee like his.
On any given day, sorting through my thoughts and feelings feels like scouring a dry and dusty desert for water to keep me alive. My brain feels starved and thirsty for something, anything that can keep it going. Keep it marching towards the ocean where it can finally relax.
The medicine is like my oasis in the desert. I find it every day, just in time to save me from roaming aimlessly into thoughts and feelings that it might be better for me to avoid. However, sometimes it feels good, even wonderful to roam the desert freely, falling in to whatever mishap or encounter that comes my way.
I even found beautiful flower out there once, but the flower did not need me or the oasis to survive. It could survive just fine on its own. I wanted to pluck it and bring it with me, but that would have destroyed everything that I loved about it. Eventually I had to flee from that place knowing good and well that I would probably never find that place or place like it again.
There on the horizon I see my oasis again, with the sun rising behind it and reflecting off of the tiny pool of life saving water. I love it here.
If these floorboards could talk, they would still just creak and crack and bounce with your movement anyway. They have spent decades underneath your feet and they are tired of all the crap that you track in and all over them. All our feet do is get bigger and heavier and the floorboards are tired of holding us up as we stomp around like apes. So, in their old age they protest each and every one of our steps, reminding us that without them there wouldn't even be a damn floor to get dirt on.
If these floorboards could talk, they would still just creak and crack and bounce with your movement anyway. They have spent decades underneath your feet and they are tired of all the crap that you track in and across them. All our feet do is get bigger and heavier and the floorboards are tired of holding you up. So in their old age they protest each and every one of your steps, reminding you that without them there wouldn't even be a damn floor to get dirt on.
If she were a country, I imagine she would be an island somewhere in the Mediterranean. A beautiful place that I would dream of taking a tour of.
He looked great in a suit, and he knew how to style himself in a such a way that made him look much more affluent than he actually was. As he sat down at a table with the group of otherwise wealthy and upper class attendees he only hoped that nobody would notice that he had never been taught the proper order of silverware to use, or what the difference between a salad fork and a regular fork was.
She hadn't missed him. She hit him dead center. He was not allowed to let anyone, least of all her, know he had been hit though; or that the wound was as grave as it was. The wound was so deep that he thought it might kill him. He wanted someone, anyone in the world to understand his pain and without judging him for allowing himself to be wounded in this way.
She had shot him through the heart, and he could only sit there and bleed out as he realized there was no one to save him and no one to blame but himself.
I used to be very flexible. I could contort my arms into crazy positions, but I as I got older I also gained a lot of mass and even though I am a lot stronger now I have not been able to maintain the level of flexibility that I used to have when I was in high school.
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writing since 2018 · 77 entries · 69 days shown up
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