nolunchsydney
There were three even knocks on my door. I stood back nervously and my dad rose to answer it instead. He didn't appear nervous, but I knew him and saw the way he walked stiff and stretched his hands as he moved toward the door. He looked back at me and forced a smile, to me he looked on the verge of tears. He then swung the door opened and the younger man outside looked obviously nervous as he reached out to shake his hand.
The salesman knocked on the door. Again. I peered between the cheap plastic blinds to the front porch where he stood. He wiped beads of sweat off his forehead and swept back a piece of his come-over hairstyle that had fallen forward. His grubby hands took out a pamphlet and hung it on my door knob. As I watched him turn to leave I released a sigh of relief.
I smiled at him across the alter, vowing to spend my life with this man. I know life will bring trials and we will have our rough times, just like every other couple, but I also know that we will get through it. "I do."
Walls built up so high,
crashing down now before your very eyes.
Not what you expected, it withstood winds
Hurricanes, Tornados.
Now a blink of an eye----
not AN eye
HIS eye. A glimpse of a smile
and All those walls
crashed
He climbed the staircase cautiously, following the trail of blood. He had his gun ready, for all he knows the killer could still be in the building. No matter how many years he has been doing this jib, nothing can compare to the sickness in his stomach as he searches each room, anticipating the violence that may await him.
Her eyes scanned his face, searching for clues. His mouth seems pressed. His eyebrows are furrowed up in the center of his forehead. He subconsciously rubs his nose.
She sighs. "Baby, why were you so late coming home tonight?"
He blinks quickly, swallows hard, and looks away. Softly he replies, "I told you babe, I had to get milk." He clears his throat and continues his voice crescendos as his anger grows. "I swear if you ask again I'm gonna lose it." He blinks fast and looks away.
A smile stretches across her face. "Okay, sorry Chad."
"I'm just swell," she said through gritted teeth.
But she was thinking otherwise.
A flat tire isn't 'swell.'
Being late to work, again, isn't 'swell.'
Finding out your fiancé was cheating on you after five years together isn't 'swell.'
But nobody wants to hear all that.
I looked at the blue little bundle of joy in my mother's arms. I don't think Eli will ever truly comprehend my love for him and the utter relief of his safe arrival. He won't know the sickening fear I had upon learning the news that we were expecting him and the anxiety I held within my eight year old heart every time I asked my mom if she was passed the "dangerous stage" of her pregnancy. After losing three other babies, I couldn't let myself get my hopes up that this one would be any different. Now looking at his innocent perfection, I felt a guilt I knew I would hold with me for the rest of my life for not being giddy with excitement for this new little soul.
I wasn't expecting a visitor and was startled when the doorbell rang. I had just been sitting down to finish a painting I had started the night before.
He pushed me down and said to do whatever I wanted, he wouldn't be help responsible for my actions anymore. I heard the anger in his voice, but in his fiery gaze I saw the threat: don't go against him again, or I would have to endure more than just one violent shove.
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writing since 2013 · 23 entries · 23 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Sydney showed up.
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