sunnysuraj

sunnysuraj

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don't forget that giants fall just as easily as men. from high above your castle tops, your highest floor, your pillar of comfort, you're just as capable of hitting the cold, hard earth.

twist

a distortion between time and space. you slip through, unassuming, a cosmic wanderer, a starry stranger.

we were not happy but we knew how to play at looking like we were. ask questions like "how's your mother?" and "have you been doing well?" our faces were not masks. masks couldn't change. couldn't bend shape to convince someone of their authenticity. we laughed the sound of bells from the bottom of our stomachs, because we knew pain, and because we knew what it felt like before it came. and we'd give anything not to give it to someone else.

done

we chose the path we went through. fought when we needed to, made love when we wanted to. things weren't always easy but they were always good. even when they were bad. i wouldn't choose any other path if i could go back and do it all over again, but i don't think about how it could have gone differently. because in the end all it is is gone.

undo

if we could go back and start again from the beginning, you know that we would. maybe this time we would use all our wisdom and all our learning to love better this time. give a shot that really counted, for once. maybe we'd have lasted this time, been something worth remembering. been something worth writing about. or maybe we'd do the same love, all over again, with all its hurt and all its lessons. because how else would we have come to love as we do today?

a tree falls in the middle of the woods. and the forest competes for its space. nothing of the trunk is wasted, each inch of it coated in a verdant luster of leaves and fungus. from its rotting corpse grows new life again, a rebirth, a recycling. a testament to the will of the earth, that though its pillars, fall it will grow again.

i was only waiting for the right moment, that period of time where all of life's events would line up perfectly. you'd drop your books and i'd rush to help you and we'd glance at each other, giving an awkward smile. look into each other's eyes for a brief moment and glimpse a future that could be.

a shimmer on your neck or a gleam on your wrists. a humming tune sliding up your elbows, peeking out over your shoulders. you are my brightest diamond. you are my richest gold.

underfoot and under wraps. you could have stuffed me up your cuffs like a magician's trick and i'd have sat there until you decided it was time to put on a show. but the trick got old and even fake flowers have to be thrown away eventually, so. so. so. you threw me away, too.

neat

you could have folded me up and left me in the corner for ages the way things were going. i was convinced it was because you were trying to keep me safe. that's what you said, anyways, right? that it was how you treated friends. but i found out soon enough you were just keeping me for when you felt like bringing me out. and i'm not your favorite t-shirt. i won't wait around for you anymore.

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writing since 2012 · 65 entries · 65 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means sunnysuraj showed up.

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on this day 12 years ago

sunnysuraj wrote about gesture
“i haven't got a whole lot of strength left in the place where it comes from. i know that the things i do won't seem grand or magnificent, and sometimes you'll go days without noticing i've done anyth…”

the words sunnysuraj reaches for

handsloveeyeshandfingersinsidetickinglipswaitingmomentheartearthheadsoulfearlost