unbornsymphony
if only I could sweep away the contempt you have for me
like the trash that it is
brush away the lies you imagine of me
like painting over an accident which was out of my control
if only I could live in a vacuum
sterilized from the words you taint my actions with
if only I could wash away the urge to prove myself to you
if only to prove you wrong
when it doesn't matter
you wouldn't care anyway
and you don't deserve it
you don't deserve me
and even an ounce of the best of me would be wasted on you
if only I could just let go
free myself from the weight of you
cut the umbilical cord and the poison you've forced upon me
open my eyes and dare to take the stumbling first steps to walk away
I could live
the sound washes over me
in a blanket of emotion
enveloping me in the feeling
floating in a dream
I walk within a mythic story
that stretches out across time
it scatters me through space
enter I, into you
all so vivid in my mind
nothing compares to this
find the bravery inside you
dare to pull it out
it will give you the strength to face the hefty weight of change
and when you will have come out at the end
you will hear the music of clarity
open eyes will open doors
one must only dare to step through onto the path of discovery
I deserve to live my life.
and there's no reason I should have to subservient myself to do so.
don't you know that sometimes we are allowed to be selfish?
sometimes its what we need most. to shut the world out, focus on our needs, wants, purpose, interests, strengths, weaknesses, all that we don't know about ourselves or that we forget to pay attention to. sometimes theres too much out there and so much inside, you must choose. choosing whats outside before what is in you is proceeding blindly.
don't you know that sometimes we need the judgment of others?
it is help, whether essentially right or wrong. sorting this out for ourselves is a process on the way to clarity.
don't you know that we will make it through this?
we just cant give up.
Why aren't we allowed to talk to each other? Particularly and especially when it comes to those we most care for? We build up walls and hide behind them and persecute anyone who climbs over or breaks them down. But shouldn't those closest to us be allowed in? Shouldn't they feel welcome and unafraid? Able to approach without caution, without raising alarm?
Shouldn't we preview them to our innermost secrets without them having to fear exile for their intimate knowledge?
blood red and black lace
with a voice like a noose
a mind like a whip
she welded herself just as dangerously
just as provocatively
my senses scattered before her
locking me into a deadly game
an oh, so irresistible diversion
she teased and eluded my endeavors
like the smoke which seeped from her long cigarette
to me she will always be
The Woman
Irene Adler
She suddenly lay over and rested her head in my lap. My breath hitched as she blew smoke rings that twisted and curled up into the night just as my core did in response. Just as smoothly she raised back into a seated position beside me.
The capricious elven creature.
slowly, recognition flooded in
like the water
in which he was submerged
pushed under
struggling against the onslaught
as all the pieces fell into place
one flash of light after another
as the life he thought he knew ebbed away
becoming a blur
now he understood
all to clear, he ceased to struggle
allowing her to hold him down
one by one all of her began to dissipate
to disappear
each version fading from existence
he let the quiet darkness envelope him
as he watched the last of her waver
the final variations
knowing they each were being erased
ending all the destruction they had sown
"there's always a lighthouse"
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