snowyowl222
I will never be satisfied with myself.
I cannot play a sport.
I have no skill in any useful activity.
My few talents disappoint many.
Reading doesn't earn you medals.
Sewing is a seemingly ancient skill.
Writing doesn't gain you admiring friends.
These things don't put food on the table
Or clothes on our backs
Or money in our dusty, underused wallets.
Art only gets the lucky far,
Who am I to think I will go far?
I yearn only to prove myself to others.
Perhaps they'll never be satisfied.
The One Place
That She is Never at.
I Couldn't Help it.
All the Fowl Words in the World Were Climbing Up My Throat
Yearning to Be Released.
But I Kept Those Words Down
And Instead
Opened My Mouth
And Spat on His Shoe.
I Watched His Face Turn a Nasty Shade of Purple
And He Stood
And I Hopped Out of the office Chair,
Grabbed My Friend's Hand
And We
Ran.
It Was the Sound of Mum Closing the Creaky Kitchen Cabinet That Woke Me.
As Usual, I Was Tangled in Blankets
Having Thrashed Around in My Sleep.
My Arms Were Extended
As Though Reaching For Something,
My Nails Jagged
From Scraping the Wall.
This is the Position I Had Been Waking Up in
For the Past Three Months.
A Dreamless Sleep,
And Then I Awaken Like This.
But This Time Was Different.
Because This Time
I Realized
Exactly What I Was Reaching For.
I Peeked Through the Curtain
And Saw the Audience.
My Stomach Seemed to Drop
At the Amount of People That Were There,
But My Heart Seemed to Drop
At the Sight of the Two Empty Seats
Up Front
The Seats That I Had Reserved For Them.
The Room Went Dark,
A Single Spotlight was Turned On.
I Took a Deep Breath
And Stepped Into the Light
Feeling Utterly
Alone.
As I Stood There,
Babbling Nonsense
About Television and People and Paint
To a Friend Who Was Hardly Listening
I Felt it,
The Most Wonderful Feeling
I'd Never Felt,
Of Two Arms
Wrapping Around My Waist From Behind,
And I Turned
And There He Was.
We'd Hugged Each Other Many Times Before,
In-Between Classes
Or When We Passed Each Other in the Halls.
But This Was Different.
I Smiled Up at Him
As He Held Me,
And Realized
That I May Be Falling in Love
With My Best Friend.
It Was a Store,
Full of Sparkling Earrings and Glimmering Make-Up.
They Dragged Me Inside,
Painted My Face With Thick Powder,
Draped Jewels Around My Neck,
Sprinkled My Hair With Glitter,
Covered My Shirt With Brooches and Buttons,
Giggling and Babbling
About How Well That Lipstick Makes My Lips Curvier
Or How Pretty My Eyes Look With That Shadow.
All the While, I Sat There
Paralyzed as They Played With My Face
Gazing Longingly Out the Shop Window
At the Bookstore Across the Street.
I Opened the Envelope,
Curiosity Burning a Hole in My Brain.
I Carefully Unfolded the Paper.
Written in Green Ink
Were Four Sentences;
Instructions:
- Stop Thinking About Her
- Stop Thinking About Her
- Try to Get Over Her
"Which One of You Was it?"
I Whispered,
Looking at the Two Faces
That I Loved More Than Anything Else in the World.
I Watched
In Horror
As They Both Slowly
Raised Their Hands.
I Walked Back and Forth in Front of the Open Doorway,
Listening For Giggles or Whispering.
I Stepped Inside Every Now and Then
To Make Sure That the Nightlight Stayed On,
The Television Stayed Off,
And the Closet Was Free of Monsters.
When I Was Certain They Were All Asleep,
I Walked Down the Hall
To My Room
And Fell Asleep
Satisfied.
My Siblings Were Fine.
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writing since 2012 · 29 entries · 29 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Story showed up.
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the words Story reaches for
faceeyesinsidelovewordswalkedstoodcannothatefriendearshardlysmilednighthearthair