tedmackey

tedmackey

This user account status is Approved

"Yo, Jesus, we're pretty far off shore, can't we row this boat in?" "I'm walking back to shore, dickheads." Jesus throws on his raybans, exits the boat, walks on water, and leaves his followers out at sea.

"Well, that's an impressive piece you've got there." "Why yes, I'd say it's the highlight of all of them tonight." "I love the free booze and sausages. These things are a blast." "Sorry, do I know you?"

There's no central heating in my house? THANKS A LOT, OBAMA!

Cracking your knuckles can lead to tendonitis, but arthritis isn't real, so don't worry about that.

Yo, that clown is all tall and stuff but his arms short. He is no real giant clown. Yes, let's take the aluminum rounders bat, give his gonads a poudning. He shall topple, and I shall take his oversize shoes.

IT'S TIME TO RAGE BRO YEAH BROSEPH, KEG STANDZ FOR RIZZEAL I'M GONNA START A BROLACAUST WOOOOOOOO RIDERS OF BROHAN, MUSTER THE BROHIRRIM

Hey, HEY GUYS, wouldn't it be funny if somebody took this word and didn't finish their

Chad set the christmas tree on fire. He said he was trying to do it the traditional German way. Fucking asshole. If I wanted Kraut influence on the tree I could have covered it in Schnitzel.

Ted graduated with honors, got a terrific job, got married, worked his way up to partner, has three beautiful children and has furry sex parties once a month. He has achieved happiness and success.

The galaxy is very big. It's so big, in fact, that it can fit pretty much anything else into it. Well, perhaps not a larger galaxy, but smaller galaxies could fit in quite nicely.

load more entries

writing since 2010 · 50 entries · 48 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means J showed up.

7longest streak

48days written

0.3entries / week

on this day 16 years ago

J wrote about elixir
“Polyjuice potion tastes like butt. SNAPE'S butt.”

the words J reaches for

realbearstopheyjesusnonecoollovebuttblasthurttreeterriblenowclevernun