tyrian
"Be cleansed!" he shouted, his voice filled with righteous fury. On the demons came innumerable but they could not touch him. For he was an agent of divine retribution. None could stand before him.
Totally unhinged. That's what they said about him. Ha! What did they know? If speaking aloud to oneself was a clear sign of madness, he didn't want to be sane. How else was he to keep his thoughts in order? Inside his mind things became jumbled, confused. Once spoken, they were just words, easy to consider.
I'm here selling these fine leather jackets.
I've lost friends to suicide. I have, and all I can ever ask is, "Why?" I've considered it myself, but never followed through. There were people relying on me, people I could not let down. My friends were among the strongest people I had ever known and still they chose to end it leaving the rest of us behind. Did we mean nothing to them? I sometimes wonder if there was anything I could have done, something I should have done.
I've followed the same routine day in, day out for the last I don't know how many years now. School, followed by work, followed by dinner, followed by bed. Repeat. Weekends, are different in that there is no school and sometimes, no work. But there it is, I'm a boring person.
Genetics is an interesting little thing. It's the science of genes, the stuff that determines who you are, at least physically. There are those who say that nurture is greater than nature, that how you are raised has more effect on you than your genetic makeup. But there are those who say that your entire life, how you react to any kind of situation is all already encoded in you, all predetermined.
The complexity of any relationship can not be stated. The factors that define them are endless. Actions whether past, present, or future, perceptions of those same actions, status, wealth, physical attributes, personality; all these and more come together to create what we call a relationship.
There's something about being under water, about knowing that only a few inches above your head is the sweet life-giving breath that you need to keep on going, and yet choosing restraint, choosing not to come up when your lungs start to burn, when every fiber of your being begins to cry out.
A strange delight, taking joy from the suffering of others. Common enough to have a word for it. Sadism. Something I thought I could never understand, could never take a part of. How naive I once was. Even I have a dark resentful place in my heart, a place that takes pleasure in the suffering of others, of making them endure the same pains I have. I just didn't know it at first.
They say that demons are the antithesis of angels. I hold that they are not. Both want to live, want men to follow them to accept their teachings. They are beings from two different schools of thought, but they are not complete opposites. Demons do not seek absolute destruction while angels seek to prevent it. If they pursued that course, then they truly would be pursuing the antithesis of life, of living.
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writing since 2010 · 33 entries · 32 days shown up
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