sarahlovesyah

sarahlovesyah

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My greatest sin? I can't even begin to list, What a horror I have been, But soon you'll get the gist. My job is a simple one, Though most wouldn't wish to commit, Its a real shame that they miss out on all the fun, But many cannot bare it. I am the King of the Underworld, Ruler of the dead, However my story is not of that world, But of my lover instead. I found her in her mother's fields, She was more radiant than the sun, One look and her fate was sealed, Because I knew she was the one. One glance and I was in love, As soon as her eyes met mine, I could see the potential that she was full of, Which made her kidnapping fine. Of course she struggled when I grabbed her by force, That was to be expected, But I just knew that she would soon love me without any remorse, Which is why I was unaffected. I dragged her back in heavy chains, And locked her away in my estate, I was well aware of her unshattered, false disdain, But why she tried to hide her love, I could not contemplate. So I made a deal with the gods to keep her here, And now my dear Persephone stays with me, And for 6 months of the year, She is mine because I know she truly does not want to be free.

Hoping that I am not seen nor found, He's beating down the door pound after pound. Crawl up to the attic where he cannot fit, Screaming and snarling he yells "You piece of shit." Safe I am until morning awakes, Maybe he'll believe that I'm dead if I fakes. The sun rises as I open the attic door, my protective gate, And down I go to collect my fate. Not here, no he is not here yet, I look at the mother who treats me no better than a pet. The crack whore drunk is not a rare delicacy indeed, If only there was some way to be finally freed. I can hear his stomping approach, alarm bells chiming in my head, Oh how I wish I could be dead. Radiating hatred and fury, along with the sweet smell of drink, smoke, and sweat, Oh God no, he must have lost the bet. He draws nearer with a bottle in one hand and a binding leather belt in the other, I scuttle away, glancing once at it, the pitiful excuse of a supposed mother. The oaf sneers a god awful smile, And I cannot imagine anything more sickening or more vile. Slamming hard into the wall from his powerful shove, I steel myself as I wait for bite of the closest thing I have to love.

want

Our hands our intertwined and held high above our heads, shimmering in the golden sun. Our fingers twist and twirl in unison, the light dancing around them, just like my pounding heart. I sigh and take in the peaceful moment before it is swept away in the warm breeze. Alone with him in this colorful meadow of daisies, tulips, and bold wild flowers. Not a care in the world, not a seed of doubt about my future because he's right here next to me. This is what I want, no what I NEED. I need the boy next to me who comforts me when I'm sad, picks me up when I'm down, tells me I'm beautiful everyday without any insincerity. The one who now spins my hand, and hums some unknown tune with the most relaxed look I've ever seen him wear. It's because we're alone. There's no one here to put pressure on him, like everyone does. Or to watch him, except for me. No expectations his rich father demands him to live up to, no one to tell him what to do, how to act, what to want. He's absolutely free, and when I'm with him, so am I.

The holiday decorations were absurdly beautiful in contrast with the bleak darkness of the cemetery I stood in. A blind man could probably tell that it was Christmas, just by the jolly scent of the sugar cookies and candy canes. But it was anything but uplifting here, for me. All I felt was deep hollowness inside. During this time of year, the bright colored decorations seemed too bright, the people too merry, and the carolers too loud. As I stood in front of the grave, her grave, I couldn't help but despise the happy spirits around me, wishing this could be the most wonderful time of the year for me as well. But I knew all hope for that was lost, buried away like my mother was in the ground below my feet, never to rise again.

crew

The ship was empty. The crew was gone. A storm was a comin'. And I was alone. Dangerously and frighteningly alone. What should I do? I was only a passenger. I didn't know anything about a ship, nonetheless how to steer it. A that moment, a deadly wave crashed into the side of the boat, disrupting my thoughts and balance as I flew threw the air and landed with a smack on the wooden deck. In front of me was the large wheel that controlled the ship. I used it to pull myself up off of the floor, ignoring the ripples of pain that flew up my side, and grabbed onto the smooth wooden wheel. This was a life or death situation. If I didn't at least try to save myself, then all hope really was lost. So on the ship and I went, into the dark, treacherous seas beyond.

Cameron's hand rests on the golden doorknob before him. One twist of his wrist and the front door of his safe, comforting home would unlock, leading him to the chaotic world beyond. "CAMERON! CAMERON!" Ada pounded on the colossal mahogany door, calling his name, scared for her life. His other half was out there, on the other side of the door, just out of reach of his protection. But still he couldn't bring himself to open it. If he did, the terrifying creatures would force their way inside his house and the result would be his own death. No one could kill them, no one could escape them. They were indestructible. But Ada was outside... He had to make a choice in that one deadly, measly short second, one that would either save his life or hers. And without a second thought he threw the door open with a bang and Ada crashed safely into his waiting arms. A sea of the hungry, beady black eyes of the monsters was all he could see for miles.

Bandages protect me when I get a scrap or a cut, But what can protect me from a broken heart that cannot be shut? Try as I might, I cannot fix this ache in my chest, I wish I could find some way to put the pain to rest. Tossing and turning, I dream of you, How oh how could this possibly be true? The hurt inside is all too real, Please somebody tell me how not to feel.

His suggestion hung in the air like thick fog that never clears. Stay or fight? Take the easy way out and flee or do the right thing? Run away like the coward everyone believe I am or fight, while trying desperately to prove that I am more than who they think I am? His gorgeously green eyes, almost as beautiful as he himself, bore intently into my own as I try to make my decision. He, of course, will fight like the brave soldier he is, but a weak commoner like me? Is this what fate has in store for me? In that one moment I make my decision; the decision between life and death. I will stay with him, I will fight. It is as if I had no choice in the matter from the beginning.

writing since 2012 · 11 entries · 8 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Sarah showed up.

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8days written

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on this day 14 years ago

Sarah wrote about binding
“Hoping that I am not seen nor found, He's beating down the door pound after pound. Crawl up to the attic where he cannot fit, Screaming and snarling he yells "You piece of shit." Safe I am …”

the words Sarah reaches for

cannotdoorlovedeadsoonfatewishmothersunfighteyeshandopenshipalonelost