mdbdancer

mdbdancer

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I was impressed by your sophistication. Your an avid art lover and you you have opinions on each piece. You drink wine because it makes you feel fancy. Who will share this with now?

My heart gets a sinking feeling when I think that I will never see you again. I keep wondering if it was just a fluke that we meet or if we are truly supposed to be together. Everyday it gets harder for me to believe that we could still be something.

Maybe it was mythic. The feelings, the great moments, the perfect guy. I don't want to admit that I embellished the situation.

brave

You were brave enough to make the first move, start the conversation, and ask me out. You weren't brave enough to kiss me. Maybe I wasn't worth kissing.

It's difficult for me to tell you how I feel. I think your incredible. You are exactly what I am looking for. But, you don't show me that you're interested. I don't want to put myself out there, if it could scare you away.

You were entitled to kiss me. We had the most amazing date. I shared myself with you. I enjoy getting to know you. I wanted to take it one step further.

I found myself gazing into your eyes. I remember how I felt the first time I saw them. The other people in the room seemed to disappear. I'm not sure what you were saying. I was lost in those blue eyes.

I derived from our conversation that I did not mean anything to you. I was just another girl. I didn't want to hear about the others. That night you made me feel special. I had fond memories of our time together. Now I feel like a fool and I regret what happened.

I could tell that my stillness was making you nervous. I was nervous myself and did not want to do the wrong thing. I was afraid you would notice the overabundance of excitement that was flowing within me. I have never felt more alive than in that moment.

I have been wondering about you all the time: Where are you? Do you think about me? Could it have worked out? Will I ever see you again? Did I make the right decision?

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writing since 2009 · 100 entries · 98 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Marina showed up.

3longest streak

98days written

0.4entries / week

on this day 13 years ago

Marina wrote about cinematic
“Our relationship was very cinematic. It was just like what I had seen in the movies. We met, fell in love, had a devastating split, but remained friends. I just wish he hadn't moved away.”

the words Marina reaches for

lovenowfeelingswishfellmisshappymetlookinggreatheartafraidlostchangelovedanother